


Identity

by orphan_account



Series: Soul Affinity [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Finn and Rey is one-sided, LOTS OF SPOILERS, Love/Hate, Rey tries to bring back Ben, Spoilers, at least not in this, mindscape, not related to each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2015-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-09 22:52:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5558615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His presence is coursing through her veins and she hates it.  When she closes her eyes she finds him, tall and looming over her. 'Come to me,' he calls. Perhaps she and Ben Solo could've made it in this galaxy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Identity

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Reylo fic so I'm still getting the hang of the characters but ENJOY

 They have to stop meeting like this. Rey’s skin burns as she scrubs it with a cloth Chewie has provided for her. She hasn’t been able to bathe in pure, clean, water like this in ages, the sand of her homeworld infects even the slightest drop. Everytime the scavenger closes her eyes she finds him, tall and looming over her. When they meet, it’s almost always in the forest, the same place she thought she would never leave, and in this twisted reality, she can’t. He’s waiting for her, removing his mask and smiling as if he knows something she doesn’t as soon as their eyes meet.

 Rey submerges herself in the lake she stands in, trying to cleanse herself from his shadow. His presence is coursing through her veins and she hates it. She hates him. Untying her hair, messy, rough, locks fall to her chest and she wastes no time in letting the water cleanse them. The pool is still, peaceful in its existence. The young girl recalls the sand, how the desert compares to this lush biome. Both are calm, but built to be a raging catastrophe in the midst of a storm.

 When she closes her eyes to avoid the sting of water as she ducks her head in, she sees his face. His eyes are like the very body of water she’s wading in; at first shallow and she can see through them to the light at the bottom, but the longer he stares, they’re dark and full of demons. The spirit beckons to her, extending a hand towards her, his invitation. Suddenly her lungs are on fire and Rey realizes she’s been under too long.

 She reemerges from the lake’s depths and he is not longer there. This is too much, she decides while scrubbing the sand, dirt, possibly blood, from underneath her fingernails. “Rey?” Finn’s voice breaks the natural silence between the scavenger and her surroundings. Alarmed, Rey ducks her body back into the water, keeping her head still above, her eyes open.

 “Finn?” she calls out. The ex-stormtrooper stumbles upon her sanctum, his arm covering his eyes. She notes how innocent and precious he looks as he blindly tries to navigate his way to her.

 “General Organa sent me to deliver these to change into, and I brought you a blanket? I thought you would need it. General Organa also says to visit her at some point before the celebrations because she has something for you,” Finn’s arm is still over his eyes and Rey appreciates that it does not shift.

 A soft smiles plays at the young girl’s lips as she thanks her friend, “I'll meet up with you once I'm out, Finn.”

 “Sounds good, sorry for, uh, interrupting,” his fumbling awkwardness comes out and Rey laughs. She can hear him trudging away from her bath as she begins to walk towards the fabrics he left out for her.

 Rey runs her hands through her hair and shakes her head back and forth to dry her chestnut-brown tresses. The scavenger, now clean, wraps the blanket around her shivering body. She blinks, and in that split second, her enemy draws his saber.

 The soon to be apprentice of Skywalker changes into a black bodysuit her friend dropped mindlessly onto the ground. She knows what this is for, today marks two days since the death of the only thing close to father figure she’s ever had. While the first part of the evening marks the funeral of Han Solo, the later will be dedicated as a celebration of his life, and the victory on Starkiller Base.

 True to her word, Rey drops by the room Poe so graciously agreed to share with Finn before she meets with General Organa.

 “Rey!” Finn smiles, “Wow. You look you beautiful,” the words spill from his mouth before he can catch them.

 “I’m wearing a black bodysuit and my hair’s all tangly, calm down,” she laughs. “You look quite alright, though,” Rey takes his black overcoat and pants into consideration.

Finn beams before remembering why they’re here,“I wish we had a different occasion to dress up for.”

 They both hurt over their loss, something that has driven the two to bond even further. Finn releases a sigh and tries to look away from the girl before him, trying to hide the magnitude of how much he feels for everyone and everything. Rey knows how much guilt he is bearing right now. The brunette nods before wrapping her arms around her friend for a brief moment, a comforting embrace. Her eyelids fall as soon as her chin makes contact with his shoulder and she’s suddenly cold.

_‘Come to me.’_

Rey breaks the embrace and tries to hide her surprise with a smile before turning away from her friend’s cabin. She knows who the voice belongs to. What would Han tell her to do about this? The scavenger closes her eyes to meditate, trying to ignore the voice.

_‘I will be your teacher. Don’t you want to learn? Come to me.’_

“Stop,” she says, eyes firmly shut.

_‘We will be unstoppable.’_

“Stop,” she grits her teeth.

_‘You need a teacher.’_

“No.”

_‘You know I can take what I want, come to me.’_

“Get out of my head!” she yells.

_‘Come to me or I will come to you.’_

Rey’s eyes fly open at the threat and she’s suddenly full of fear. The girl realizes that she has spoken every word out loud before General Organa even says a word. Leia stands before her, looking concerned and so wise at the same time. 

“Come with me,” the General firmly says, leading her through the corridors into her private quarters. “I asked you anyway to come because I have this for you” the woman shrugs, taking a robe from her bed and handing it to Rey. “This is for you, it belonged to me long ago, but I thought you might fit in it,” Rey inspects the garmented in her hands in awe.

 “It’s beautiful,” she murmurs, running her hands against the velvet cloak colored a purple crimson. The young brunette pulls the hooded garb around her body, keeping the hood down so the general can still see her face.

 “Perfect,” Leia smiles at her in silence before remembering why else she needed to see the young girl before her.

 Rey saw her leader’s face fall and gently took a seat on one of the stools beside her. “I can hear him, and sometimes see him,” she spoke close to a whisper.

 “You are connected by the force,” the general affirmed. “When you hear him, what does he say to you?”

 The scavenger shakes  her head, confused as to how to explain the visions she experienced, “he tells him to seek him out, that I need training and he will teach me. He just keep saying to go find him.”

 Leia sadly looks to her company, “Rey, under no circumstances should you. You cannot look for Ben. You need to use the map to find Luke, he will train you, and only then will the two of you be able to handle this burden.”

“Ben?” Rey furrows her brow at the name,

“Ben Solo is the name Kylo Ren would like to forget, but he does not always let go of things easily. Especially of his past life,” General Organa sighs. “I need to start making sure everything is going as planned. After the celebration today you must seek Luke out, he will be able to tell you more of what this means. And Rey?”

Rey’s eyes snap to the general, “yes ma’am?”

“May the force be with you,” Leia sadly smiles as Rey nods a goodbye and heads out. Raising the hood of her cloak, she walks back through the corridors to her room. She needs to be left alone right now to think, to meditate, to rest. So much has gone on in so little time. Her home has shifted from one place to another multiple times and she cannot keep up with it.

 She sacrifices enough for the small respite she desires, knowing full well what’s waiting for her as soon as her head hits the pillow. Still, her eyelids fall.

 He stands before her, snow flying into his dark hair. Like a shadow, he approaches her, his lightsaber staying at his belt. “You cannot escape me,” he towers over her.

 Rey stands strong, rooted to her ground, “I am not fearful of you,” His eyes flicker to her attire, which has carried over into her dream world. He looks her over with a neutral stare.

 “If it’s a fight you want, I will not hold back,” she spits. The man before her lets the corner of his lips shift ever so upwards before the scenery around them changes. They are no longer in a forest but standing in a body of water.

 Her opponent turns his focus away from her to take in the new scenery, “you like the water. It is the opposite of sand, and while sand is the only thing you know, you hold it accountable for your troubles.”

 “You don’t know me,” she grits her teeth.

 “As do you of me,” his back is to her now.

 “I know who you are, you’re Ben Solo. Your name is Ben Solo, and you’re a monster.”

 Kylo Ren sharply turns to her and is soon almost at her throat, “Ben Solo is dead you fool.”

 Rey moves closer to him, she’s sees in his eyes that his name makes him weak, his identity is fragile and she will challenge it every step of the way.

 “You know not of what you speak,” she can feel his breath against her face as he speaks, this is his way of intimidating her and she will not back down.

 “You know not of what you are and I will not be made afraid of you,” she almost spits in his face.

 The Knight of Ren suddenly becomes very aware of their proximity, the warmth of her body compared to his cold one, and light her essence is radiating. Rey, at the same time feels her body betray her as she looks into his eyes, they’re cold yet so full of something she cannot name that she has seen before.

 “Let me train you, with your raw power you could become one of the greatest lords in the galaxy,” he is so confident in her. He has tapped into her to see for himself and therefore knows that she is not to be taken lightly, and in the hands of someone like Skywalker, she is a threat.

 Rey closes her eyes and searches his mind, he quickly becomes aware of this and shuts her out, but not before she has sensed his hard fear. “You’re afraid of me,” she almost gasps, “and… yet, in awe."

 “You have a gift unlike anyone and need to be trained by someone who could help you unlock your abilities. I **will** be your master,” he promises.

 Rey breathes heavily, unsure how to respond. Before she can react, Kylo grabs her hand in a strong grasp, ‘with even the smallest of movement this hand could bring down regimes.” He doesn’t let her hand go, and she knows struggling is futile. In her mind she knows she needs to get away, to run far away where Kylo Ren does not exist, but she is rooted to her spot. A feeling at the pit of stomach drops and she knows this is wrong. Part of her wants this anyway. 

 The feeling of her skin is soft under his rough hand. He tries not to notice how smooth she is or how much of a beacon she acts as. Deep within him, he senses her destiny is not in the dark side, she is too bright, too radiant, too like to sun, to fall. But still, something in him begs to stay and so he will fight to have her at his side. The more he sees her the more he _needs_ her.

 “Ben,” she breathes and suddenly, he can’t. His old name holds a previous life that he has sacrificed too much to forget.  He refuses to meet her stare, refuses to acknowledge what is happening.

 “Ben,” she says again, louder. His throat is dry.

 “Ben,” she’s beginning to get under his skin. He tries his best to drown her voice out.

 “Ben,” she demands. His eyes snap to her face and she meets him there with curiosity and bravery shining in her eyes.

 “Ben,” this time a whisper as she stands face to face with him. The sound of his name on her lips is becoming an unbearable curse for him. She is a blessing, a divine creature like those on the moon of Iego and he does not deserve the light she emits.

 “Stop this torture,” he begs, his guard is down and his forehead rests against hers. Rey doesn’t know what to do, she’s prepared herself for how to act if he engages her in combat, but not this.

 “Your name is Ben Solo,” she states, trying not to let her strength waiver.

 Kylo Ren presses a kiss to the top of her cheekbone, “stop,” now he is the one resisting. Her skin burns and she knows she must be blushing. If this is his way of battling her tonight, she will not give in. 

 “You are the child of Leia Organa Skywalker and Han Solo,” she states again. Another kiss is pressed along the side of her face. The sensation makes her breath hitch. 

 “You were trained under Luke Skywalker, your uncle,” he begins to kiss the line of her jaw as she speaks, as if her words cannot reach him. Rey bites back a gasp at the feeling of his lips. 

 “You grew up peacefully, yet were plagued by doubt caused by your father,” he reaches her ears and tugs at her earlobe. Rey winces in a split second of pain but is betrayed as she finds her hands framing his face.

 “You are missed by your family,” she tries to bring his eyes back to her.

 “Lies,” he barely breathes as his hands pull her hood down and his fingers twist themselves within her curled tresses.

 Rey ghosts a hand down his cheek and his eyes close. “With these hands,” he raises one hand to catch hers again, “you will bring down regimes,” he reminds softly.

 ‘“Haven’t I already?” she whispers, and it’s all suddenly too much for him. His lips crash against hers and she isn’t prepared for it. Ben tells her everything his words cannot describe as his mouth moves against hers. Her hands rush to the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

 Her body is so warm, a foreign feeling that he wants to swallow whole. He wants to keep her with him, by his side forever. He will be her master, he vows. The Knight of Ren places a hand at her waist to steady himself and the contact burns within him.

 Rey is still in shock over the turn of events, and at the same time is appalled she let this go to this extent. This is a man she hates, whom she will never forgive. The scavenger also has to remind herself that it is Kylo Ren whom she despises, and not Ben Solo. Perhaps in a different life, this would have been acceptable between her and Ben Solo.

 The girl tries to tear herself away from him, to break this contact that she should not have let happen. Her opposite only moves from her lips to her neck, trailing kisses and occasionally nipping at her skin. Rey want to release a groan at the feeling, she never experienced something like this on Jakku.

 Kylo Ren knows he has gone too far. This is not where he should be, not what he should be doing. Yet, here she is, a light that has illuminated the darkness that courses through his veins. He wants her in his arms in reality, not just in this connection they have secured by the force. With great resistance from his body, he presses on last kiss to the corner of her mouth before pulling away from her. “Come to me, Rey. We would be unstoppable,” he is panting for breath.

 “Get out of my head,” she whispers, and he can sense her disappointment and guilt directed at herself, as well as her heartbeat skipping when their eyes meet.

 “I can take whatever I want,” he reminds her once again, the mask of Kylo Ren slowly settling back in. “And I will be your master.”

 Suddenly, it's all over, as quick as it began. 

 Rey wakes up in a cold sweat. Finn is at her door, and quickly rushing to her side with questions. She waves him off, “I’m fine, a bad nightmare.” The scavenger feels empty though, as if some of her radiance has been stolen.

 Finn raises an elbow to her, “I thought I’d accompany you to the main hall?” He smiles down at her and Rey knows this is what she deserves, this warmth and happiness is what she deserves.

 “Thank you, Finn,” Rey pulls her hood up over her hair and takes her best friend’s arm.

  
 And when she blinks, he is there frowning, for a split second.

 

fin.

(Rey's funeral attire is inspired by: [this robe)](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/59/3b/a2/593ba22545a55383745f8bd49a91ac17.jpg)


End file.
